ups and downs

well, the past few days have been full of ups and downs... and i'm ready to get off of this rollercoaster...

i've been looking at apartments, and places to move to at the end of march... i came across this really cool sounding townhouse on Craigslist... so the owner and i exchanged emails... and set up a time for me to see the room (full basement walkout)... and it was amazing... large enough for all of my one bedroom apt furniture, and she was super nice too... so, i think i'm going to live there... yay for not having to live in a cardboard box...

last week, chris gave me a heads up that he may be graduating his training a week early, and that he'd be coming to visit me for a few days... i tried not to get too excited, as nothing is ever 100% with the military... but over the weekend, i bought valentine's day stuff, and birthday stuff, and started planning things we could do while he's here... and monday, we were both still pretty excited about it... i mean, what could happen in 4 days? right?... wrong... this sucks... and i hate having my heart ripped out like this... so what if i'm going to see him in 3 weeks... that's 3 weeks from now... not valentine's day... very grrr... you think i'd be used to this by now... and it's so hard because there's no one to be upset with... it's not chris's fault that he can't graduate early... but i still have so much anger over it, and no where to direct it... after nearly 2 years of this, i'm ready for a change... i don't know how i want it changed, but i need something... maybe i just need for it to not be like this... maybe i need something special to let me know all this heartache isn't for naught... not that is should be anything extravagant, and it doesn't even have to be store-bought... but it should be from the heart... and seriously guys, if you keep breaking your girlfriend's heart, even for reasons that are beyond your control, you should find a way to make it up to her...

so, in my anger last night, i did my new walking workout video... i only made it to 2 miles (of the 3 mile routine)... but it was great! and it made me feel great... and i can hardly wait to get home and do it tonight, too... watch out jerri, i'll be up there walking 20 miles a week with ya! hehe... and hopefully, doing this routine will help me not feel so down about myself anymore either... i was needing a boost, and i think this just may be what i need...

i also helped my bro with his college applications last night... he got his SAT scores yesterday, and didn't do as well as he'd hoped... so even though he's planning on retaking the test, he needed help making his application look better in other areas... and who's great at fluff to make yourself look good?? me, of course - after months looking for a job, i can sell myself like no other...

work has been pretty boring... we got new computers yesterday... and that was about all the excitement that's been going on here... a co-workers grandfather passed away this week, so today they were taking donations to send flowers... and it got me thinking, when either of my grandfathers died, did no one donate, or did no one think to send even a card??? hmmm... and i know this shouldn't even be an issue, but i'm a little miffed that no one showed support for me, yet they expect $$ for this guy... blah...

well, now that i'm somewhat "down" again, i'm going to wander around the office in search of my next "up"... maybe someone will turn the coffee machine into a lawn sprinkler again today... surely someone's got a good story or something... well... i'm off...